Cheat Armies

Every now and again I'll hear something about a particular army being a kind of cheat army--an army that turns out to be so unbalanced as to make them unbeatable. I am not convinced.

I think that my opinion has a lot to do with having played Rogue Trader all these many years ago when there really WERE cheat armies. Orks were useless, marines were about the same, and Chaos could get a greater daemon for 25 points. Eldar Avatars could buy three exarch powers and all of those were better then than they are now. I still remember bounding leap in which at the end of the turn, if another enemy unit was within 6" of the unit that you were attacking the Avatar could jump to the other unit and attack them that turn with its full number of attacks. Swooping hawks could jump over a unit and hit them with 3 strength 8 AP1 attacks (-6 armor save for those who remember) per Swooping Hawk model.

Basically, Orks, space marines, and Imperial Guard could fight. Chaos and Eldar could fight, and Tyranids, once they were invented were pretty much between all of these. There were no Dark Eldar; there were no Tau, Necron, or Sisters of Battle, and Chaos unidivided meant you couldn't get daemons. There were Grey knights but there were only terminators and they cost 1000 points per squad of 5 (and they weren't worth it).

Let's be fair. Since that time, GW has done a pretty good job of figuring out how to make the game a lot more fair. People get into hand to hand now. That never happenned before. I do cringe to think that the Dark Eldar guardians get the same things the Eldar get but at 2 less points and with a dark lance cap at...what...4, four f'ing dark lances in a guardian squad. And yes, I think that's ridiculous, but cheating? No.

Every army has something. There is always some way for you to cause the other player to pull their hair out. Ever played that Necron army with 2 monoliths! They're horrendous. Or what about the Space marine army that can buy Dreadnoughts as both heavies and elites and decides to drop them all on to the table! Six dreadnoughts all with assault cannons and heavy flamers just kicking the crap out of everything. My favorite is, of couse, fighting IG during a nightfight scenario. You might as well just declare them the winners. By the way, how come only the IG have developed the technology of the flashlight? Eldar? Eldar have a number of really good options of how to make them powerful. I wouldn't however call them a cheating army, I'd just say that they are a good all around army. Dark Eldar only have about four types of troops that anyone would ever choose, and I've seen two Necron armies at 1850 points that both looked exactly the same. That's just the 1850 army that really works.

The big one I hear about cheating is, of course, Chaos and in particular either the Iron Warriors or the World Eaters. Well...yes three squads of Obliterators is ridiculous. But then...shoot them! I've noticed with infantry, if you pour in enough shots shit dies. Plus, if they deep strike, one of those squads isn't going to make it anyway. As for World Eaters. Well, yes they are pretty hard core in hand to hand (so are Orks by the way), but there's a draw back...you barely play World Eaters. They just move at the whim of the dice. How's that fun?

I think if you're really concerned about why your army isn't winning, you should think about trying out new tactics or playing a new list. Sometimes the problem is that your opponent has fought your army so many times that they know exactly what it is, and isn't, capable of. One of my friends played Daemon Hunters so often that it was like deja vu every time I beat him. There's always something that can be done, some trick that you might want to pull or play, but you should also realize that a lot of 40k is no longer about tricks. Playing a 40k game is about making solid decisions on how to get as many dice thrown at the same time versus how many dice will be thrown back at you. Play smart and the cheat armies are just interesting battles. Look at your defeats as learning experiences about how to play. I now know, for instance, that when fighting Dark Eldar in Cities of Death, you must destroy those Raiders and as quickly as possible.

You should also think of sprucing your army up less in terms of cheating and more in terms of helping your army reach its potential. I knew a marine player who wouldn't use drop pods for the longest time. I kept insisting that this was why he kept losing. Putting a dreadnought in a drop pod is not cheating; it's the marine's thing! It's what GW gave the marines to make them competitive against the other armies.